Why "How Can I Do It All" Is the Wrong Question

If you've ever felt pulled in a thousand directions, trying to balance being a wife, homeschooling mom, ministry-minded daughter of God, crafter, blogger, part-time worker, and more, you're not alone.

Many of us are balancing a full load, often wondering how we can possibly keep up.

But here's the thing: maybe the question isn’t, "How can I do it all?" but rather, "What should I be doing and why?"

This shift can open up a world of clarity and peace, helping us to focus on what truly matters.

Here are some guiding principles I’ve found helpful, and I hope they encourage you, too.

1. Let Your Priorities Shape Your To-Do List

Have you ever taken a moment to write down your priorities? By identifying what truly matters most, we can begin to align our actions with those values, bringing greater peace to our day. For me, my list looks like this:

• God

• My husband

• My children

  • Their relationship with God

  • Their character growth

  • Their education

• Work

• Home

• Extended family and friends

When I keep this order in mind, it’s easier to put first things first and let go of any guilt about what doesn’t get done.

When priorities feel out of order, it’s easy to feel stretched thin, focusing on things that don’t truly serve us or our families.

2. Practice Saying “No” Wisely

We’ve all heard it before: sometimes the best answer is “no.” Yet saying it can be difficult, especially when we're trying to be there for everyone.

But when you have a clear sense of what matters most, it becomes a little easier to say no to activities that may feel urgent but aren’t aligned with your priorities.

Remember, just because there’s a need doesn’t mean it’s always your need to meet. Take a moment to pray and ask for guidance in deciding when to step in—and when to step back.

3. Take the Long View and Look at the Big Picture

With the whirlwind of daily life, it's easy to get lost in the here and now. But stepping back to think about long-term goals can be incredibly freeing.

For example, if homeschooling or character-building is high on your list, then maybe some days, the housework can slide a bit to make room for what really matters.

This big-picture view helps us see which tasks can wait and which align closely with our family’s long-term goals.

In my own life, there have been seasons when teaching my children godly character took priority over academics for a while. Unruly children struggle to learn, so by investing in character first, their education ultimately benefited in the long run.

In other seasons, we’ve paused schooling to help someone in need, teaching my children that kindness and compassion are invaluable skills, too.

4. Lean on the One Who Gives You Strength

Philippians 2:13 says, “God is working in you to help you want to do and be able to do what pleases Him.” This reminder can be a comfort during times of weariness.

Our strength comes from Him, not from our own abilities. Sometimes, though, we need a gentle reminder to actually live out this truth rather than carry our loads alone.

Rest in knowing that God equips us with the strength and desire to pursue what is right in His eyes.

5. Remember to Ask for Help

It's tempting to just tackle everything on our own, but asking for help—especially from family—can be a game-changer.

Involving our children not only lightens our load but also teaches them essential character traits like a good work ethic, dependability, and initiative.

I’ll be the first to admit that enlisting help isn’t always the easiest route, especially with teenagers.

However, the short-term struggle is worth the long-term benefits.

Every time we engage our family in household tasks, we're sowing seeds for future responsibility, maturity, and cooperation.

Embrace the Right Question: "What Should I Be Doing and Why?"

Life balance is a continuous juggling act, especially for those of us managing multiple roles.

But by focusing on these principles, you can free yourself from the pressure to “do it all” and find peace in knowing that you’re doing what matters most.

How do you stay balanced in your daily life? I’d love to hear your insights and ideas—let’s encourage each other on this journey.

Wishing you peace and balance in every moment,

Debbi